Winter Fires
I sat behind the wheel and stared out at the expanse of ice and snow gathering on the gravel road. The reflection of light glinted off the hood of the truck, and I could see the looming shadow in the snow drifts beside us. Everything was a little blurred as the snow started falling heavier, heavier, heavier until you could barely see 10 ft ahead. My tires spun lazily for a moment, kicking the rear end of the truck sideways before they managed grip and we were rolling forward. Slow and steady, we trailed after the vehicle leading, the tail lights leading me into the darkness like beacons. A moth to a flame, I followed. Without questioning my sanity for some reason. Who else went willingly into the darkness during a snow storm?
The ride out was harrowing, bumpy and icy. The trees played tricks on us, leaning and blowing into the wind and away from it. Shaking their snow into the already swirling mass of flakes that coated us in crisp, cold white. In the far distance if you squinted hard, you could see amber sparks and the shapes of other vehicles just as crazy as we were. Little protected fires on the beach, the shape of bundled human beings beside the resting trucks. The tinny sound of laughter echoing across the expanse of the lake. We weren't the only ones out here. Part of me found solace in that. It wasn't going to be like last time but then I had the sudden pang in my chest, the ache that I knew too well. It wasn't going to be like last time. I closed my eyes, took a breath and edged forward until I was parallel to the wind, planting myself to break the cold as best I could with my vehicle. We'd all parked semi circle, a wind break for our fire.
Setting up camp took moments, the familiar routine of setting up a makeshift home in conditions that weren't optimal. It had become a joke between all of us, how quickly can you throw together a bed, a fire and lay out your cooler and a drink when you're either soaked to the bone or bundled against the wind. None of us were very fair weather friendly, we thrived off these conditions - the fall, the winter and the spring were our play ground of choice. Summer wasn't for us.
The sharp poke in my ribs had me gasping for air as I doubled over and shivered. Large hands slipped under my coat and the layers keeping me warm and dug themselves into my rib cage, holding me in place. I turned and cocked my head sideways, stepping away from the hands that held me hostage for a moment. Leveling him with my green eyes, I simply smiled and went back to work. There wasn't time to play even as much as I wanted those hands to roam further, farther. I bit my lip and let my mind wander for a moment. The problem with knowing someone so well that you can have silent conversations without a word, is how many words swirl around in your head that are never said. I'm the type of person who feels things, the kind of things that go unsaid. I feel the shift in a mood, the unsaid feelings behind words, the shadow in someone's eyes, the slump of a shoulder. It's gotten me into trouble more than enough times. It still does. You'd think I'd know better by now. So many words wanted out, but I knew I needed to just keep my head down and finish ensuring everything we'd need was ready.
"Hurry up." He mused, sidling up beside me again and I could feel the heat radiating off his arm under his heavy plaid coat as it brushed against mine. "There's still a few things I need to do, patience won't kill you." I replied, laughing as I nudged him out of my way and carried the pot of chili to the fire that they'd started while I'd be been busy setting up our makeshift camp area. I still had to feed them after all. Without me, they'd be eating scraps of fast food and whatever thrown together mayhem they could purchase from the corner store before we hit dirt or in this case, snow.
At least when I there, I ensured we had proper food - warm, homemade and properly filling. Work hard, play hard, eat well.
We curled ourselves around the dancing flames of the fire and absorbed as much of the heat from it as we could. Our vehicles kept the wind from whipping the flames into submission, acting like sentry guards around us. We were protected in this little corner, alone in the snow storm with each other for company. The tendrils of smoke and sparks hung in the sky, glowing white and orange above us.
The darkness cloaked us all, bundling us into silence as we settled in for the night. The fire dimmed steadily as the hours progressed and one by one, we disappeared into sleeping bags and slumber.
The ride out was harrowing, bumpy and icy. The trees played tricks on us, leaning and blowing into the wind and away from it. Shaking their snow into the already swirling mass of flakes that coated us in crisp, cold white. In the far distance if you squinted hard, you could see amber sparks and the shapes of other vehicles just as crazy as we were. Little protected fires on the beach, the shape of bundled human beings beside the resting trucks. The tinny sound of laughter echoing across the expanse of the lake. We weren't the only ones out here. Part of me found solace in that. It wasn't going to be like last time but then I had the sudden pang in my chest, the ache that I knew too well. It wasn't going to be like last time. I closed my eyes, took a breath and edged forward until I was parallel to the wind, planting myself to break the cold as best I could with my vehicle. We'd all parked semi circle, a wind break for our fire.
Setting up camp took moments, the familiar routine of setting up a makeshift home in conditions that weren't optimal. It had become a joke between all of us, how quickly can you throw together a bed, a fire and lay out your cooler and a drink when you're either soaked to the bone or bundled against the wind. None of us were very fair weather friendly, we thrived off these conditions - the fall, the winter and the spring were our play ground of choice. Summer wasn't for us.
The sharp poke in my ribs had me gasping for air as I doubled over and shivered. Large hands slipped under my coat and the layers keeping me warm and dug themselves into my rib cage, holding me in place. I turned and cocked my head sideways, stepping away from the hands that held me hostage for a moment. Leveling him with my green eyes, I simply smiled and went back to work. There wasn't time to play even as much as I wanted those hands to roam further, farther. I bit my lip and let my mind wander for a moment. The problem with knowing someone so well that you can have silent conversations without a word, is how many words swirl around in your head that are never said. I'm the type of person who feels things, the kind of things that go unsaid. I feel the shift in a mood, the unsaid feelings behind words, the shadow in someone's eyes, the slump of a shoulder. It's gotten me into trouble more than enough times. It still does. You'd think I'd know better by now. So many words wanted out, but I knew I needed to just keep my head down and finish ensuring everything we'd need was ready.
"Hurry up." He mused, sidling up beside me again and I could feel the heat radiating off his arm under his heavy plaid coat as it brushed against mine. "There's still a few things I need to do, patience won't kill you." I replied, laughing as I nudged him out of my way and carried the pot of chili to the fire that they'd started while I'd be been busy setting up our makeshift camp area. I still had to feed them after all. Without me, they'd be eating scraps of fast food and whatever thrown together mayhem they could purchase from the corner store before we hit dirt or in this case, snow.
At least when I there, I ensured we had proper food - warm, homemade and properly filling. Work hard, play hard, eat well.
We curled ourselves around the dancing flames of the fire and absorbed as much of the heat from it as we could. Our vehicles kept the wind from whipping the flames into submission, acting like sentry guards around us. We were protected in this little corner, alone in the snow storm with each other for company. The tendrils of smoke and sparks hung in the sky, glowing white and orange above us.
The darkness cloaked us all, bundling us into silence as we settled in for the night. The fire dimmed steadily as the hours progressed and one by one, we disappeared into sleeping bags and slumber.
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